The Junk Food Devil vs. The Vegan Angel

“Just say our names. Just say my name, and say my wife’s name too. That is the title, this JF devil and this veggie/fruit angel. He of American processed cheese spread death, and she of Chinese 2000+ year old eating to prevent disease doctoring/living. The bleached white sugar vs. the natural sugar of an orange or carrot. Who wins? Who is stupid enough to take part in a contest where you claim to love yourself, while filling your gullet with a Twinkie or a Jack-in-the-Box taco (the devil’s tail twitches at the thought-the heroin legalized for your death dream pleasure)?
My father had a heart attack, and he pricks his finger daily for the diabetes. He claims he hates vegetables. That hate has led him down this path. I choose another, as revolution raised wife feeds me vegan lunches from the sunny side of the food pyramid.”

That is Louis Marvin’s life. Can I, the store owner from Prescott, Arizona tell you a couple of tales of yin-yang, of good and bad, of natural, healthy foods and processed poison? I am Peabody Winston, here on the front porch of my store at the lake, Peabody Winston and Sons Country Store and Bait Shop. I want to tell you kids a story as grand as the universe and Heaven and Hell.
Would you believe, the kids have those Twinkies, sugar sodas, and Slim Jims? Peabody ain’t a fool. If he turned his place natural and vegan, he and the sons, and their families, would dry up like old tumbleweeds. So he sells the very crap he is going to tell a tale about. Ironical.

Louis has two small creatures on his shoulders. A devil and an angel right out of a Bugs Bunny Warner Brothers cartoon. The angel knows karate, is in excellent shape, while the devil eats the crap and burns it off. He pokes with his tail, he prods with his pitchfork. He says bad words kids. The angel is nice, except when its devil butt kickin’ time.

Red guy sings a song by the heavy metal group HEART Attack, with the refrain “I seen the devil, with a taco!” It makes him laugh. The angel likes singer-songwriter Carlysle Eastman’s “The angel turned me onto cherry tomatoes for good snacking.” Did I tell you the Heaven and Hell reps were dorks?

Devil got into Louis’s ear. He was driving the bird poop encrusted, stinkin’ sports hat on the front seat, junk food wrapper passenger side floor strewn car that he still played CDs in like De La Soul, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Garcia & Grisman, and of course Johnny Cash. The devil owns the day, as Louis had brew and cheese on the mind; he flicked the angel out the back window-right side. The passenger window and the rear window behind the driver were out of whack. The car had personality, or was that dysfunctionality? Both.

Angel gave chase. You see the devil is in the bag of goodies, the angel is in the lunch box that Louis’s Chinese wife makes for him. Rice, maybe a little fish, veggies, fruit and water.

The Cherokee had a story about the wolf you feed. If you feed the junk food wolf, then your heart suffers, your mind is slow, your blood is sludge, your demeanor is not rosy. If you feed the vegan wolf, your muscles are strong, you keep bone density, your mind is sharp, your blood flows freely and helps to cure your ills. Most importantly, you shore up your immune system and defenses. This with little or no pills and doctor visits.

The devil and Louis ran into the grocery store and grabbed some cheese from the fancy cheese section, some crazy flavored chips, a candy bar, a big beer, and a sandwich. They played angel ditch the whole way, ducking behind the puddings, running to the chips and dips. It was fun. Angel was still in the store when they got into the car. When he got to the Diamond Head Tennis Courts and we hope “NOT” archery range with arrows aimed at the parking lot, the tennis courts, the children and seniors. The devil was in the Mayor’s ear about the archery range too. That is another story where a famous national ranked tennis playing lawyer said he would take this case, as it is probably a hefty settlement against the government and a “no brainer”.

Louis was like a junk food zombie, with the devil above our man, pulling his strings to walk him to the benches where they drank, ate cheese, and told stories. The angel came around the corner in a hurry and a fury. He kicked the devil with a roundhouse to the head, and one of the horns broke. He dropped the strings. They fought among the chickens, parrots and mynah birds. Louis’s phone rang, so he picked it up. It was time to pick up his daughter from school. He donated the beer, cheese, chips and sandwich to his friends at Diamond Head Tennis.

He took off to get his daughter, as he reached for the candy bar that he had hidden under the pile of stinky hats.

The kids throw away the wrappers in the trash on the porch, as the sugars begin to attack their teeth, and rearrange their cells in subtle and negative ways. The devil straightens his horn and giggles under his breath. He saw one of their mothers unload a Captain Crunch box into the pantry. Peabody waves at the kids as they chew bubblegum and pizza snacks on their walk home. His son restocks the shelves for kids and fishermen.


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