Tasty Family Salad

You know how you get to different parts of your salad?  You don’t always get to choose what they put in.  The dressing you choose is all over it.  Maybe some cool dressing like the Newman’s Own, who has given a lot of great flavors and help to special kids and places that do good things.  Tasty.

Well, this Swede on an island, by way of Arizona, by way of Minnesota, by way of Ryker’s Island in NYC, by way of Sweden, has some tasty family salad.  Our salad has black uncles, Mexican nieces and nephews, Mexican uncles, Chinese wives and daughters, Japanese, gays, copper miners, steel workers, cowboys, police, businessmen and women, chefs, doctors, coaches, military veterans, and teachers in it.

I tell you son, if you can’t find something tasty in our family salad, why don’t you pass that on over to me and get yourself a sandwich from that humdrum shop over there.


The Junk Food Devil vs. The Vegan Angel

“Just say our names. Just say my name, and say my wife’s name too. That is the title, this JF devil and this veggie/fruit angel. He of American processed cheese spread death, and she of Chinese 2000+ year old eating to prevent disease doctoring/living. The bleached white sugar vs. the natural sugar of an orange or carrot. Who wins? Who is stupid enough to take part in a contest where you claim to love yourself, while filling your gullet with a Twinkie or a Jack-in-the-Box taco (the devil’s tail twitches at the thought-the heroin legalized for your death dream pleasure)?
My father had a heart attack, and he pricks his finger daily for the diabetes. He claims he hates vegetables. That hate has led him down this path. I choose another, as revolution raised wife feeds me vegan lunches from the sunny side of the food pyramid.”

That is Louis Marvin’s life. Can I, the store owner from Prescott, Arizona tell you a couple of tales of yin-yang, of good and bad, of natural, healthy foods and processed poison? I am Peabody Winston, here on the front porch of my store at the lake, Peabody Winston and Sons Country Store and Bait Shop. I want to tell you kids a story as grand as the universe and Heaven and Hell.
Would you believe, the kids have those Twinkies, sugar sodas, and Slim Jims? Peabody ain’t a fool. If he turned his place natural and vegan, he and the sons, and their families, would dry up like old tumbleweeds. So he sells the very crap he is going to tell a tale about. Ironical.

Louis has two small creatures on his shoulders. A devil and an angel right out of a Bugs Bunny Warner Brothers cartoon. The angel knows karate, is in excellent shape, while the devil eats the crap and burns it off. He pokes with his tail, he prods with his pitchfork. He says bad words kids. The angel is nice, except when its devil butt kickin’ time.

Red guy sings a song by the heavy metal group HEART Attack, with the refrain “I seen the devil, with a taco!” It makes him laugh. The angel likes singer-songwriter Carlysle Eastman’s “The angel turned me onto cherry tomatoes for good snacking.” Did I tell you the Heaven and Hell reps were dorks?

Devil got into Louis’s ear. He was driving the bird poop encrusted, stinkin’ sports hat on the front seat, junk food wrapper passenger side floor strewn car that he still played CDs in like De La Soul, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Garcia & Grisman, and of course Johnny Cash. The devil owns the day, as Louis had brew and cheese on the mind; he flicked the angel out the back window-right side. The passenger window and the rear window behind the driver were out of whack. The car had personality, or was that dysfunctionality? Both.

Angel gave chase. You see the devil is in the bag of goodies, the angel is in the lunch box that Louis’s Chinese wife makes for him. Rice, maybe a little fish, veggies, fruit and water.

The Cherokee had a story about the wolf you feed. If you feed the junk food wolf, then your heart suffers, your mind is slow, your blood is sludge, your demeanor is not rosy. If you feed the vegan wolf, your muscles are strong, you keep bone density, your mind is sharp, your blood flows freely and helps to cure your ills. Most importantly, you shore up your immune system and defenses. This with little or no pills and doctor visits.

The devil and Louis ran into the grocery store and grabbed some cheese from the fancy cheese section, some crazy flavored chips, a candy bar, a big beer, and a sandwich. They played angel ditch the whole way, ducking behind the puddings, running to the chips and dips. It was fun. Angel was still in the store when they got into the car. When he got to the Diamond Head Tennis Courts and we hope “NOT” archery range with arrows aimed at the parking lot, the tennis courts, the children and seniors. The devil was in the Mayor’s ear about the archery range too. That is another story where a famous national ranked tennis playing lawyer said he would take this case, as it is probably a hefty settlement against the government and a “no brainer”.

Louis was like a junk food zombie, with the devil above our man, pulling his strings to walk him to the benches where they drank, ate cheese, and told stories. The angel came around the corner in a hurry and a fury. He kicked the devil with a roundhouse to the head, and one of the horns broke. He dropped the strings. They fought among the chickens, parrots and mynah birds. Louis’s phone rang, so he picked it up. It was time to pick up his daughter from school. He donated the beer, cheese, chips and sandwich to his friends at Diamond Head Tennis.

He took off to get his daughter, as he reached for the candy bar that he had hidden under the pile of stinky hats.

The kids throw away the wrappers in the trash on the porch, as the sugars begin to attack their teeth, and rearrange their cells in subtle and negative ways. The devil straightens his horn and giggles under his breath. He saw one of their mothers unload a Captain Crunch box into the pantry. Peabody waves at the kids as they chew bubblegum and pizza snacks on their walk home. His son restocks the shelves for kids and fishermen.

To Dream/To Real: The Story of XY-The Chinese Viking

A teacher wishes that parents would read Dr. Seuss, Shel Silverstein, Mother Goose, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, The Monkey King, Peabody Winston’s Front Porch Tales, and maybe some Harry Potter to the children before they hit the door for pre-K or Kindergarten. A teacher dreams that they would have taken their kid to museums, movies with morals, and spent a limited time watching PBS kids with Barney, Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. A teacher sighs and hopes the kid went to parks, swam in the ocean or pools, hiked in bamboo forests, played a musical instrument, participated in a sport, learned another language, travelled to the place of her ancestors in China and Arizona. The teacher thinks how wonderful it would be if the parents taught and coached their child, then provided chances to do martial arts, piano, theatre, art, tennis, viola, and let the child surf with doctors and friends on some borrowed boards. A teacher prays that parents would teach right from wrong, and show the child what manners are.

So in walked the child with the Chinese mother and the Swedish desert transplant father. She grew up with a mother that was a doctor/educator/business woman, and a father who was a teacher/coach/soldier(disguised as a writer with dual degrees of TB(tennis bum) & BB(beach bum) from the University of Oahu).

The child had seen the Grand Canyon, Shanghai, the teaching hospital where mommy, grandma and the 12 generations of Chinese doctors from the family had worked, taught and attended. There were trips to Sedona, Disneyland, Seaworld, San Diego Zoo, Desert Museum, Reid Park Zoo, Phoenix Zoo, Prescott Zoo, Honolulu Zoo, Waikiki Aquarium, Seattle Aquarium, Saguaro National Park, University of Arizona, Northern Arizona University, Arizona State University, University of Hawaii-Manoa, Stanford, and Loyola Marymount. She had been to Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Flagstaff, Sedona, Prescott, Scottsdale, Phoenix, Maui, Kauai and the island of Hawaii.

She had spent time in libraries and bookstores. She has read 100s of books. She is ready, willing and able to do good things for this world, for herself, for her future family and these islands. She is strong in STEM. She is the star of her daddy’s science fiction world of the Yi-Er-San(1-2-3). She is local born, world raised.

The teacher smiles when this child walks through the door. Her parents smile in their souls all day long. Her Chinese and Swedish ancestors, living and spirit, smile and help the one that was raised by a community. This one that will give back to that same community.

Why would a parent and community do any less? Let me count the ways. . .

The Trench & The Sunset (16 years in)

Tell me man, tell me that I’ve never gone to war
tell me I’ve never looked the dragon in the mouth when flames came roaring
tell me I haven’t seen the child in from alien skies
the cauldron of Chinese delights saving my soul one cup at a time
tell me we won’t be there for the gold as well as the hell of battle
Tell me we have had adventures, kisses at midnight, walks in the starlight
will it end? someday, some night, some unseen future when a last breath leaves us
a cold night and sunny day fron now
what will be the prize, what will we have won?
Twas love, and whatever that means, twas something can’t put our heart on
but we can put a boot to it, cuz it was our long path hiked together
through the bamboo forest with a Chinese Viking guide
get in here close, arms stretched a mile wide
Take me to China town, and haggle for my love and that golden ring
Wo ai ni

Roo x Dali x Dante

The painting is from Salvador Dali’s Divine Comedy-1963 Water colors

It is called The Neglectful Meets Violent Death

Based on Dante’s Divine Comedy.

Roo Bardookie writes about this:

The good white vampire, no matter what you have done black, wicked soul of the blue blood

Sucks your life from you and turns it into what we need to survive

Like one million and one million times before, the white of light, of good, of caring

Takes your best shot, and stands strong, while you languish in your black sins

Future Vet

“I want to bring out Dr. Kay, who is our head veterinarian on the E-R-* project. Dr. Kay is also a researcher for Northern Arizona University. Dr. Kay.”
He gets to the area with the other two women, and he says, “10,000,000 to 1 or not, I’ll bet we don’t have another monkey loose on a ship.”
“I want to address the children. I know how important it was to see Mrs. Sax and Angus each week. What I can do on behalf of Janet Sax, is to make weekly reports for the kids on what we do for and with the animals at the project. I can also talk to you from Flagstaff, Arizona where I do the research.”
She clears her throat. There is a picture of her with Angus playing with her stethoscope.
“Pets are very important for the well being of our folks in the ocean, the Moon and Mars. We encourage you to keep pets, and please make sure all safety precautions, the legality of the pets, and their shots are adhered to. This was a tragic accident, but it won’t change our perception of how great animals are. And, they are important. Thank you on behalf of the Yi-Er-San.”
She waves and walks off, while the press secretary begins to take questions. Hug Honor is on his way to meet Jack to get the protocol on what he can report on.

The Limited Steps of An Old Man

The Limited Steps of An Old Man

he walked across a manoa park sunrise scene
laid before me like a morning feast for my eyes to eat and eat well
he has fewer steps to go than I and mankind
it is his time flowing golden into his sunset years
my sun is in the middle of the sky
but soon dropping behind a mountain like his

only the book of life knows how many steps we take
it knows when we take the first steps free of parents
it knows when we take the last steps free of parents
this is how the story generally goes
unless, SURPRISE!

and in the wink of an eye we say, “Too soon, too soon.”
then the old man was gone from my sight

What if the Deadly Flew in From the Beauty?

Dr. Jack “Diamondback” Veenum of the University of Arizona’s Reptile Department and head of the Dr. Jack’s Snakes Den Writers, asked Roo Bardookie and Hug Honor to do something in Hug’s Modern Philosophies and Histories Magazine. He said, “That ebola virus was very scary. What if some of these new airborne viruses got out and about? Can you imagine that Roo?” She could.

An eduction leader was coming from a beautiful island, flying to another beautiful island. Both international airports. One where they filmed the rings and Hobbits, the other where they got “lost” not too long ago. Two educators met. Their common bond was the school in the Arizona Tucson desert. It is the university with the world class medical school.

They let the guy that was “lost” come into the airport and meet with the professor from Tucson, who is now residing in Mexico too. They had a lunch, some laughs, and traded something far more significant. First, the international airport on this island where Pele and Maui reside, really does have travellers that disperse to the far reaches of the globe. Add to this, the professor was going to be flying into one of the most heavily populated regions in the world. Mexico City.

This sickness, spread its deadly aloha from the island, then it got into the population in Mexico. Did we mention that there was also a layover in another of the busiest U.S. airports? Phoenix’s Sky Harbor International Airport. Adding a fresh layer of carriers and dispersers.

This is how, in conjuction with weakened immune systems from overdoing antibiotics, and the sudden proclivity of parents not getting kids and seniors immunized for this and that, it spread to the far reaches of the United States and the globe.

Experiment: The Great Ant Destruction and Magical Resurrection Chamber

A Work in Progress. By the country store and bait shop owner Peabody Winston of Peabody Winston and Sons Country Store and Bait Shop fame and the ants.
He is writing something for Dr. Jack’s Snake Den writers tentatively called:
Peabody Winston’s Tales from the Front Porch for Kids. Grimm like tales for the modern kid.
We thank Quebec, Canada artist Jihane Mossalim for her artwork (bullfrogs, chimps, etc.)
And it goes like this:

One day Carl fell asleep at his favorite place to picnic. It was on Magic Island, next to Ala Wai Harbor on the left, where the S.S. Minnow took off for a three hour tour, and the Ala Moana Beach Park on the right.
Leopold the genius ant came upon the scene. He had smelled the cake.
He laid down some scent, and the ants took Carl apart piece by piece, like ants will do.
They put him back together in the Magical Resurrection Chamber.

Then what happened?

The kids on the porch, snacks in hand, concerned faces, his son leaning in the store entrance, waiting for Peabody to continue this twisted picnic tale, were told.
“What happened Jimmy Wharton?”
They thought it would be the artificial intllligence that would do the human race in. Created by man, surpassing man, taking away man, as not needed. Kind of how Shakespeare stories sometimes go.
It was an insect that decided man’s fate. It was the tribe of the ant. The ants from all around the world communicated to each kind of ant: army, black, red, stinging, giant, small, tree-living, blind cave dwelling, and every other ant on this earth. They decided, man be damned, computers not thought of, robots unknown, what they were going to do. They decided to do away with every animal, every species, every living thing on the dry part of the planet. They had an inkling that cockroaches would survive. That was OK. They could be used as food and as something to take their minds off the ant civil war that would follow the destruction of the others from the tree of life.
The ants decided to work out the kinks on the long forgotten project called the “Resurrection Chambers” from the time of other ant civil wars, when one of the ant groups wanted to revive their fallen solders, often returned in pieces. They would bring them back to life, to fight another day.
The ant scientists like Leopold the genius ant worked on the chambers night and day. Until, they had perfected them. They chose man as the “pet” project. They would attack them at picnics, or where they slept, bringing food for them so that they could survive the nuclear holocaust.
The ants found one lazy sentry at a rocket silo, attacked him, and formed a chain so that they could push the button to begin the Earth wiping World War III.
We laid an ant scent trail around the computer, around the robots, around your pollutants, around your superiority. We stored up humans as our eyes, ears, and “big bodies” to get things done for us. We are superior in strength, in scientific capabilities, in the group mentality to get a common cause done.
The cockroaches were a suprise. The radiation did not stop their reproduction habits, and so they multiplied. The ants worked together to wipe them out, various colors and types working to dismember the usually larger roaches. They tweaked the bug scare mechanism in the captive humans, so they happily stamped and crushed the roaches then they came upon them.
The acrobats and flying ants would fight air combat with the roaches when they flew away. They were safe nowhere, as the usually smaller ants would hunt them down, in the air or on the ground.
The leader ants would have the armies pull back just enough to let them breed again, preventing the civil ant war, in having a common enemy to unite them.
At the entrances of the ant tribes, the men and women would lay down, and be picked apart. The ants then reanimated each evening in the resurrection chambers. They were fat and happy with cakes, cold cuts, dips and potato chips from picnics that were stored in the refrigerator chambers from picnics before the antpocalypse.

“Awww, Mr. Peabody.”
“What’s that Jenny?”
The girl looked at her shoulder and screamed. It was a big black ant. One of the boys flicked it off her. Peabody looked at his son in the doorway and winked. His son shook his head and chuckled under his breath, then blew out some hot air.